CBRACKE
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Filed under: Majors
After seeing today’s Seattle Times, two things are clear: 1) a snowball might have a chance in hell and 2) this post isn’t going to be brimming with fantasy advice.
There is a new reason to take Miguel Batista off your rankings, and it’s not an elbow injury. He confessed to his motivation for starting saxophone lessons last summer: the fingernails on a chalkboard, nausea-inducing sounds of Kenny G.
“He played for me,” Batista told the Seattle Times regarding meeting his idol. “It was my favorite song, ‘Alone.’ Now, I feel like I’ve had everything. I’ve talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I’d be served. I’d be complete.”
Yeah folks, he compared Kenny G to Sandy Koufax not to mention the Big G. God. He compared Kenny G to God. Hold on a second, my laptop is shaking while I convulse with gut-wrenching laughter. Heck, maybe the “G” in Kenny G refers to God?
Nope…it refers to Gorelick.
So does this mean that he’ll demand Kenneth Gorelick (Kenny’s real name) provide his warm up music in Safeco? We wouldn’t wish that upon our worst enemy, but the Safeco Field faithful should be aware of the fact that the odds of Kenny playing the national anthem prior to one of Batista’s 2008 starts have been set as even. Heck fantasy owners may even want to pick him up if they get ahold of the date Kenny is penciled in for, because it just may be enough motivation for Batista to toss the best game of his career.
EDITORS NOTE: In looking up Kenny G images for this post, it came to my attention that there is actually an album called “The Essential Kenny G.” Kenny G is not essential. Deoderant is essential. Toothpaste is essential. Not Kenny G.
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